HUajiang HS

This year was the first time I was able to go to Taiwan with i42. I was so blessed to partner with a local church in Arizona and some teammates from California. I have lived in Seoul as an Korean American for almost a year prior to this trip partnering with i42. Although I studied Chinese for two years in college, I quickly realized how little I remembered the language and how difficult it was to verbally communicate with the high school students.

Each morning we started with "The Pledge of Allegiance" and a few worship songs. I led a team with Grace. We served 14 students who were in their first or second year of high school. I quickly found that they were shy and reserved students. I felt challenged to show them love through actions and words. I also kept struggling because I didn't feel as fresh or fun as the college students. I felt very tired at this time because I really struggled with knowing how to love these students. How was I going to help my small group leader? How would I share the gospel with the students?

Eventually I realized that I just needed to show them love and acceptance. Try to initiate relationship through high-fives, laughter and take a lot of Snapchat filters. (This a smartphone app that allows you to wear different filters.) On the last day of our camp during English class, we were given discussion questions. We talked about a time where we were shown unconditional love. I talked about a time where my pastor found out about a time where I became inebriated and how instead of giving me condemnation, he gave me grace.

This is very different from many churches that I grew up in. I grew up in a church where morals and character were highly valued. This is an amazing value to have. Only sometimes we can come from a place that doesn't give room for failure. This gave me the room to accept the love of God which spurs me to change. He doesn't hold a stick over our heads and say, "Change now, or I won't love you." Instead, His love changes us. After I shared this and Grace shared her story, a girl in our group actually opened up about how she had a terrible relationship with her mom and often fought with her. I felt so blessed to be able to hear her story. I felt so honored to hear a vulnerable story of her life. I believed that her sharing was a first-fruit of the love of God being manifested.

I am so thankful that I was able to see the land of Taiwan. There is so much idolatry, and many people who live lives filled with fear desperate for hope. I am so glad that I was able to pray and serve this country with i42. I want to live my life that will propel young people to live for God. The high school kids inspired me to live a more godly and intentional life. I want to remember that my life is not my own, but that it belongs to God. I believe I have a responsibility to live my life that reflects the gospel. I hope and pray that I may do that. "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." Acts 20:24

This camp is very special to me in that last year, I also came and as a small group leader, got to really connect with my students and even shared my testimony on the last day. That day was met with many tears, of students coming up to tell me that my story reached their hearts and how they could relate so well, of me bursting into tears as we said our goodbyes, and of the start of the continued friendships of some of them throughout the next year.

This year though, I was placed in the older group out of three. So the returning members would be in my small group. I had a lot of trouble at first with comparing how this camp went to last years’. I’d find myself categorizing very superficial ways to measure how God was/is at work. I’d wonder why the students this year were more soft-spoken, or why less people came out to lunch/activities than the same event/day last year, or why I didn’t have the same exact emotional/spiritual connection with them as the year before. It seems pretty silly now but I was definitely too caught up in bringing myself glory rather than God. I did get prideful at times.

The pivotal point came when camp just ended and our teammates were discussing dinner plans (steak). Instantly, all these feelings came crashing over me- frustration at how they could relax when there was so much more to do for God’s kingdom, sadness that I might never see some of the students again, regret at how I could’ve done even more (even though I knew I overworked myself and tried my best), anger that they couldn’t notice how I was feeling and how if situations were reversed, I’d have realized quickly, etc.

At dinner, I asked a member what she thought her spiritual gift was. We talked and God really allowed us to connect and for her to bring wisdom into a topic I felt so burdened and conflicted with. The part that stuck out the most was that I couldn’t shove how I was feeling, how obvious someone else’s feelings/needs were to me (my spiritual gift of mercy) and then question why others can’t also empathize like me. We’re all different parts of a body and God didn’t create us to be equal in ability. However, he does use us all in really mysterious, amazing ways. That was enough for me to keep moving forward and Huajiang was the closure I needed. I learned a lot about being slow to judge whether something was “good” or “bad” (Job 2- “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”) and wait and see how He brings every experience a value of its own. I learned that each year is actually VERY different and as Christians, we need to prepare ourselves because lives are really at stake. I think praying as a group every morning at Macdonald’s for each student by name helped our focus and definitely the team encouragement/openness we had for each other. Please pray for the campers here as well to really want to see God, for the church to welcome them and for our members to continue to remember them and strengthen relationships. Also, for God to continue to allow us to teach at this public high school in Taipei because that’s amazing in its own!! Thanks ​